vincentdnl

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A series of drawing about software development, technology, and being a developer working at tech companies. These drawings are mostly satire.

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  • drawing about low budgets and high expectations
  • drawing about number of todos being correlated to the age of a codebase
  • drawing about specification for an MVP being too broad
  • drawing about clients asking for text size changes
  • drawing about diving into spaghetti code for refactoring
  • drawing about the GME Gamestop event and free market
  • drawing about how the situation gets watered down when it goes to top management
  • drawing about clients not being clear about what they want
  • drawing about people forcing app ideas onto others
  • drawing about electron apps taking too much ram
  • drawing about open source software as a hobby
  • drawing about pair programming
  • drawing about notifications that don't clean
  • drawing about the legacy php projects
  • drawing about hackathons
  • drawing about naming variables in programming
  • drawing - text: box1: blue shirt character: Welcome to the new-framework valley! | box2: same character (from far away, we see the valley) To go down, you can either take the stairs of reading the documentation or go abseiling on the rope of video tutorials. | box3: same character: Or you can- (is cut by an event) | box4: red shirt character jumps from the cliff
  • drawing - text: box1: developer: I think it would be great if we took some time to improve the performance and stability of the product, and refactor the codebase so that it's more maintainable in the fut- (getting cut) | box2: manager: I've got a better idea, what if we add a feature no one really asked for or care about instead? | box3: (silence on all characters) | box4: picture of celebration where they carry the manager like a hero and cheer
  • drawing - text: Manager wants to interrupt the developer. There is a popup above her head saying: 'Are you sure you want to interrupt this developer?' and two buttons: 'Hell, no!' and 'Yes...'
  • drawing - text: developers (in a dark room, the door is blocked by wooden planks, zombies are saying 'meeetingssss...', 'daiiily standuuuuup...') thinking: it should buy me some time to code...
  • drawing - text: box1: manager asks: Can you please make the blue more blue? developer: ok | box: developer (thinking): Wtf does that even mean?!?
  • drawing - title: On the first try - text: box1: developer (on his laptop): Finally, I fixed this bug! Time to destroy the evidence | box2: (seeing the screen of a laptop with a browser open and multiple tabs with text: 'js declare function', 'var scope js', 'fetch POST syntax', 'why not working?!?', 'developer carreer path change'. The developer si clicking to close the tabs)
  • drawing - title: Days off - text: box1: developer (closing his laptop): Finally, vacation! Time to take a break from work... | box2: developer (opening his laptop): And start coding on my personal project!
  • drawing - text: project manager (to a room of developers, visibly pissed off): Alright, we are a bit behind schedule so let's have a three hours meeting to remind everyone about our goals
  • drawing - title: one-shot - text: box1: project manager (to a developer): This is just a one-shot project, don't bother with code quality or testing | box2: 'One year later' project manager (to a developer, visibly pissed off): Hey, I just need one more small update to that one-shot project...
  • drawing - text: (a developper is sitting at the edge of a swiming pool with a cocktail, thinking) I know how to fix the billing bug on the platform...
  • drawing - title: Backlog - text: box1: caracter1: I have a new idea for the product! | box2: caracter2: Wow, this is a very good idea! Follow me... | box3: (caracters are walking toward a door) caracter2: we are going to place it on... | box4: (caracters are in a dark room full of paper sheet stacks) caracter2: The backlog!
  • drawing - text: Wouldn't it go faster if you used a hammer instead?
  • drawing - title: Jobs requirements - text: Jobs interviews - Invert a binary tree on this whiteboard. | The job - Make the button bigger!
  • drawing - text: When I was a junior developer, a manager asked me for an estimate. I did my best to give a fair number. He told me: | The client is never going to accept this... | Now I would say something like 'why don't you write a number the client will accept, then?' but back then, I just reduced my estimate and worked unpaid overtime.
  • drawing - text: No, you can't work remotely. It would be impossible. You have to work on this computer right here.
  • drawing - text: Do you have too many microservices? | - Everything is in app - services are split across clean bounded contexts - services get stupid names and you end up saying things like: colossus asks hypernova for a galacticus token - Just query the numberadder microservice...
  • drawing - text: *someone explains his app to a developer who is thinking of something else* - Can't wait to use React Hooks on this project.
  • drawing - text: Parkinson's Law | Once, a manager told me: | I timeboxed this task because I know developers behave like a gas. You guys expand your work to fill the time available for its completion! | It says a lot about how management sees developers as cogs in the wheel...
  • drawing - text: Time to deploy revolution to production...
  • drawing - text: Tanned Developer | Wow, you are tanned! Did you go to the beach last week-end? - To the beach... Yeah... | Earlier this week... - Select a theme - dark theme - light theme (selected) | *developer is tanning from light theme*
  • drawing - text: scalability - our app doesn't scale, the server crashes constantly. What can we do? - We could profile the codebase and see where performance issues are... - Or... - We could just tell accounting that we need three new servers and call it a day! Yeah!
  • drawing - text: How do I move a banana from A to B using Javascript? - It's simple, just use a semi-trailer truck and load the banana in...
  • drawing - text: 2020 - Working on my MVP. It's gonna be awesome! - 2030 - Just a few more tweaks and it's perfect! - 2040 - Almost there... - 2050 - Ready for launch!
  • drawing - text: a backend developer centering a div - click here - what?!?
  • drawing - text: Splitting a monolithic app without clear bounded contexts... - ...is like building wooden cabins with highways in between.
  • drawing - text: I want a simple building like this. You can do it on your own in like three weeks, right?
  • drawing - text: Hey! What are you doing? - I'm learning a new language called rust. - Cool! And what do you plan to do with it? - Rust.
  • drawing - text: Developer's Side Projects - I think I will start a blog... - Looks like I will have to develop a blogging platform from scratch first.
  • drawing - text: Top Priority - Hey, I have a super important top priority task for you. Can you handle it quickly? - Ok, I will do it. - Since you are here... I have another super important top priority task for you. Can you handle it quickly?
  • drawing - text: The client's vision - The client's budget
  • drawing - text: As Usual - You should do like we normally do. Just add another extension block and call it a day.
  • drawing - text: Demo Day - Wow! You really built a full house that quickly!
  • drawing - text: Priorities - Wall are no longer the priority. The client wants the painting done first!
  • drawing - text: Warnings - The building is finished. There are just 3127 little things that must be taken care of.
  • drawing - text: Testing & TDD - We are behind schedule so just lay the bricks down as fast as possible, we will add the cement later.
  • drawing - text: Full-Stack Developer - I need you to fix the roof, do some plumbing, paint the house, fix the electricity and lay tiles.
  • drawing - text: Pair Programming - It would go faster if each one of you took one.
  • drawing - text: Technical Debt - I don't understand why it takes so long to add a new window.